Lost Connection

Many of us experience a “signal disconnect” at some point in our romantic relationships. It could be due to time restrictions, money issues, children and other family responsibilities, or a sense of monotony in the relationship. It’s likely that you still love and care for one another deeply, but have lost the direction to express that regularly. If you’re dealing with this loss of connection or closeness, also referred to as intimacy, in your relationship, here are 3 ways to get out of it.

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​Jeanson Benoit

​Relationship Intimacy Coach

​ Jeanson's coaching  focusus on helping people achieve deeper and more fulfilling romantic connections with themselves and others.  Jeanson appeared as a Special Guest on my Live Video Web Series "All Things Dating & Relationships" where we discussed Intentions, Intimacy & Dating.

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1. Find an interest or interest(s) to engage in together. This does wonders for bonding and really getting to enjoy some memorable life experiences jointly. Maybe, you can take turns on whose interest you will try from one week to the next. It is best NOT to choose ventures that your partner really doesn’t enjoy so your time together is anticipated rather than dreaded. Some common ones are shopping for many men and watching sports for many women. These are ideas to consider doing together that can be extremely intimate: cooking, light or heavy exercising (such as walking/running together), playing games (from board games to outdoor games, just have fun), traveling (locally and abroad are highly recommended), and having a light conversation over glasses of wine on the beach.

2. Prioritize your quality time together. It’s a challenge to feel close to your partner when your time with each other is mostly spent getting ready for work, at the dinner table, and getting ready for bed to do that whole process all over again. Like all important parts of our lives, it’s necessary to create space and time to enjoy your partner’s company. So, that may mean sending the kids to Grandma’s for the weekend or scheduling romantic dates around your busy schedules or even having weekly lunch dates at your favorite café. Whatever you require to be face to face without the distractions of life, make it happen.

3. Touch each other more! It is unfortunate that one of the best tools for creating connection is most often neglected when connection is lost. This is because many people don’t understand the incredible power of touch whether in a romantic or non-romantic fashion. An encouraging hand on the shoulder can calm a person’s anxiety about something. While a kiss on someone’s forehead can reaffirm that person’s care for them. It is a very effective way to express our wide range of emotions and energies. Therefore, I challenge you to touch your partner with love and affection and notice the change. You may try kissing, embracing closely and passionately, and massaging each other just to start.

Hopefully, this article motivates you to move towards a more intimate romantic partnership. You have the ability to grow closer by finding interests to engage in together, creating/scheduling the time to spend together, and touching each other in positive ways. Happy loving!

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