Dating During the Pandemic

In times like this, we need to remember that we cannot control the situation but we can choose how to perceive it.  For instance, the term “Social Distancing” sets us up for a negative mindset of perceived social isolation when really we should be “socially connecting while physically distancing.”  When you flip to this mindset and perception, it is easier to see the opportunities for connection.

Singles looking to meet other singles still have options despite the stay at home suggestion!  In fact, I personally believe this is the absolute best time for singles to be dating, virtually that is!   Keep using your favorite dating app or try out a few new ones to find new potential dates.  Learn how to virtually date “like a pro,” using the suggestions below. 

There is a hidden benefit to virtual dating during the pandemic.  It forces you to slow dating down and actually take the time to get to know someone and form a connection before you  “go out” or meet face to face. In many ways, the pandemic is the antidote to casual hookups and may even result in more healthy relationships forming during this time of physically distancing!  

For virtual first dates, I recommend having a brief, virtual “meet and greet.”  This is what us matchmakers refer to as “Screen in Fifteen.”  Consider a virtual “coffee date” to get to know each other using a video chat platform.  

Here are some pointers:

• Arrange a Video Chat: Text or have a brief call to arrange the video chat.  Use your preferred method: Skype, Facetime, Google Hangouts, Zoom, Facebook Messenger, etc...  You just have to agree on which one.
• Use a laptop (not mobile phone) and check out the angle (you don’t want someone peering up at your chin).
• Test out your preferred video dating method in advance: Make sure you have a strong internet connection and good audio quality; there are always glitches, even in 2020.
• Ensure good lighting: If possible, use natural light from a window. If using light from your home, then make sure it is not too dark or too strong.  In either case, make sure you are not in a halo or shadow. Light in front of you at a 45 degree angle is probably best, but test it out! It makes a difference.
• Dress to impress:  Looking your best is part of the dating process.  Your best self is more likely to shine through when you are looking your best.  The hidden benefit is that when you dress up, you feel good about yourself and it increases confidence.
• Look at the camera:  This is the equivalent of eye contact!  (Don’t forget to smile!)
• Be prepared: Have a story or topic that you can discuss if there is a lull in conversation. You won’t have your surroundings to make small talk.  Suggestion: You can also use the “36 Questions to Fall in Love” from the New York Times article.  
• Keep expectations low.  You can get a feel for someone over video chat, but keep in mind it is not always going to be a full representation of the person.  Don’t expect chemistry to show up on the first video date. If you feel neutral about the date, simply give that person another chance and ask for a second date.
• Make plans:  Always make plans for your second video date before you end the first one.  This will help to limit the “when should I call again?” game that goes on in our heads. 
• End “your screening” in 15 minutes: Keep the first conversation brief.  Most people get nervous or feel awkward on first dates already!  Adding the video component may be easy for some people, but try to understand that not everyone will feel comfortable on a video chat date.  You can have a longer second date, just think of it as baby steps.   
  
  
  

If video chatting is something new for you, you may experience a little bit of camera anxiety or technology anxiety.  I highly recommend you try it out a few times with friends first to get comfortable being on camera and to make sure you know how to use the video platforms properly before your first virtual date! 

For more tips, check out this video from youtube:

Want to learn more? 

​Learn more with my Relationship Readiness Program!  Whether you are newly single or have been single for a while, this 12 week program is designed to help you learn how to present the very best version of your authentic self, increase confidence, decrease your fears of rejection, set realistic expectations, brush up on your flirting and dating skills and finally learn how to attract the person you desire without settling!  

​Schedule your FREE 15 minute Clarity Call via Live Video to learn more!  
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​Have fun virtually dating!

Regards,